Mommy: Scary or Practical?

I’m excited about the new Motherhood movie coming out. I was fortunate enough to participate in a conference call with Uma Thurman about the film. I love that the movie plans to show realistic take on a typical day of a mom, Eliza (have you read her blog).

I think that’s why I love blogs and blogging. On the playground we’ll hear about how great our child’s playmates are, but the blogs tell the real truth, the hidden truth (at least the ones I read). And to honour this scary truth, Jill at Scary Mommy is running a little competition to see who among us is the scariest mommy. And if you read some of the submissions, there are some pretty scary mommys out there. I love it!

So I’ve been going over it in my head, how am I a scary mommy. And you know what, I don’t think I am. I mean, yes I’ve used threats to motivate my kids:

hairme: What do you mean you’re not dressed yet? we have to leave in 5 minutes and you haven’t even had breakfast.
5yo son: I have my socks on.
me: If you’re not dressed by the time I count to five, I will go to your younger sister’s draw and pick out the pinkest shirt I can find and put it on you and drop you in the middle of the playground for the kids to taunt you.

Now that may sound scary, but it worked; he was dressed by the time I go to three. So he’ll be in therapy for years with an identity crisis. That’s okay, he’ll be a grown-up then and not my responsibility.

chocolateAnd sometimes, sometimes I’ve given my kids an after school snacks from the sugar food group. Now before you go and jump all over me with words like unhealthy and unfit mom let me explain (because you know there’s an explanation behind every mother’s action). We usually walk home and I’m tired of hearing things like: it’s too far, I’m too tired, but I broke my leg and the doctor said I shouldn’t walk on it. Bla bla bla. It’s amazing how far a piece of chocolate will get my kids.

We’re not any different from most families; we have house rules that everyone has to follow too. They’re usually there to keep the kids safe (and maintain my sanity), But sometimes a rule is broken and it’s so ridiculous and makes me laugh that I will over look it or maybe even get the kids to do it again in order to capture it on video. I mean they didn’t kill themselves the first time right? And I don’t want to stifle their creativity too much when they’re young. And yes that is a broken kids wheelbarrow they are using. Creative huh?

I’ve used some of those dreaded mom phrases. You know, the ones you mom use to say to you and you swore you’d never say things as ridiculous as that when you became a mom. Things like:

Because! Because I’m your mother and this is my house and you have to follow the rules until you are big enough to get a job and live in your own house. Then you can make your own rules.

I get a larger slice of cake because I’m larger.

If you don’t put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket then wild animals will sneak in at night and carry them away to their nests.

Eating vegetables improves your eye sight so you can see better at night. What? Can’t see in the dark? Then eat more carrots.

Okay, I’ll admit, some of these lines I’ve created myself but with inspiration from my own childhood. But sometimes you want your kids to just do what you ask and you don’t want to explain or rationalize why. You’re the mom and mom’s rule, right? I never realized how smart my mom is until I became a mom myself.

Let’s not even get into discussing practical uses for the dead space under the beds or behind the washer and dryer (where else would you store those toys, old magazines and occasional dishes when your mother-in-law arrives unexpectedly, for the third time this week) or that my kids spend more time having a Starbucks breakfast on the weekend than at home (have you tried those pumpkin scones with fruit?).

I’m sure you would agree, these things don’t make me a scary mommy but rather a smart, clever and practical mom. So while I may not win Scary Mommy’s competition, I love the idea of promoting our real mommy sides.

What have you done as a mom that people might misconstrue as being scary?

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One response to this post.

  1. Oh, my God, you are a genius! I am totally stealing that tip to get my son to get dressed in the morning. That’s PERFECT!!

    Reply

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