The hardest decision, so far

So my birthday is coming up this fall and over the last mmhmph years I’ve had to make a lot of decisions: getting married to the man I was living with, buying a car instead of using the public transit, leaving the job I knew for the job I didn’t, leaving the large inexpensive apartment for a larger more expensive house. But the hardest decision I’ve had to make so far, we’ve had to make so far, was the decision to have a baby, our first baby.

Every time we talked about having kids, it just never seemed to be the right time.

After getting married having a baby was the furthermost thing from our mind. I mean we just got married and wanted to spend some time together, just us. First anniversary, we bought a car and were enjoying the freedom to travel. Two years later we adopted second cat who ended up being pregnant and having six kittens. Taking care of those kittens confirmed we weren’t ready to take care of kids (the mother cat was sick and we had to feed them manually every 6hrs). Fifth anniversary and we were getting ready to move into our first house. We were enjoying renovating and hanging out with our friends.

Then there was work. We were just out of school when we got married and wanted to establish ourselves in our jobs. Then in our jobs, we wanted to get the next pay raise. There was always something. Then one day, eight years being married, we realized that there would always be something. If we wanted to have kids we just had to do it. And next thing we knew we were expecting our first child.

It's.... a baby

It's.... a baby

I knew I’d encounter difficult decisions in life, but somehow I never thought the decision to have kids would have been it. Was it a hard decision for you?

4 responses to this post.

  1. The decision to have my son was easy- I wanted to be a mom so so deeply. However deciding on a 2nd has been so hard. Like you we keep finding other reasons not to yet…


  2. It wasn’t a hard decision, it was more of a “Surprise! Now you have no choice in the matter! I’m here!” After a month of marriage we were pregnant, we didn’t get a chance to really enjoy each other before we had kids.

    I don’t regret having kids, we were hoping to have them a little later. But it worked out in the end!


  3. Posted by Gregory on June 30, 2009 at 4:30 am


    We’ll I just got married last January and for the first few months we were enjoying and having fun, though we’re planning to have our own house and a car, having a baby has always been “if it comes it comes if not it’s not yet time.” Now my wife for the first time has skipped her period and so we’re hoping this is the first sign. We’ll keep on writing I enjoyed reading through your site . Hope you’ll get yourself published (a book maybe?).
    Some reference for you:



  4. honestly, it was the easiest decision both times and came quicker than our original plans.

    With my son, we had been married about 6 months, with the plan to try at our year anniversary. My husband was the one who said “why are you waiting?” and I was all “no idea!!” so we started. It took us 14 very long months and 1 fertility appt but we were blessed.

    With my daughter, again, we were going to try around the time my son was 2. Instead, we started trying shortly after he was one. I’m sensing we are impatient? It only took 4/5 months with my daughter and we were thrilled.

    But really, is there ever the best/right time? I think things
    happen for a reason sometimes.

    Thanks for sharing…great story


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